nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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