Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
