ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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