What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
