I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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