I'll bet she douches with gravy.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
