The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
