I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
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He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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