I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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