you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
