So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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