That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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