Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
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