Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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