Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
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