He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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