But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
