Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
