Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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