I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
