Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
