I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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