you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
