one two three fourrrrnication!
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
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