he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
