I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
