I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
