I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
