Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
