There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
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