You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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