i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
