I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
