FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
