I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
