but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
