so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I wish I only lived at night.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
