Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
