Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Randomize
