I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize