I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
