My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
