So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
