That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
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The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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