Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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