So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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