All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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