you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I'm too high and old for this...
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
