i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
