Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
