that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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