come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
