he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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