We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
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