Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
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