I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
