nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
