So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
