At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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